There is a song that I love that talks about surrendering all to God. When I sing it, my spirit fills up and I feel like I want to burst. This morning, in my car, I was listening to the song again and I began to pray, "Lord, reveal to me what I have yet to surrender." I tried to think, and there are many things that I constantly have to leave at the feet of Christ. However, speaking to my dad on the phone today, I think I found a sore spot.
My mom and dad divorced when I was a baby. All my life my dad has lived in California. Two years ago, almost 3 now, he left everything in California and moved his wife and my younger brother and sisters to Honduras. It took me a bit to make my peace with that. I go through it in my head. He could of gone any where. He could of come back to New Orleans, but he didn't. Now they're trying to come back to the States and I hear him talk about moving to New York or to Miami where my step mom's brother lives. It's like a knife twisting in my heart.
Yet, God spoke to me. I have to surrender my dad. I have to surrender what I want my dad to do. He isn't a single man any more. He has a wife and 3 kids, and he has to do what is best for them. Though I didn't have my dad around for most of my life, I cannot stand in the way of my baby siblings missing out on their father. It hurts so bad, but I know that God supplies all my needs. Even my need to have a father.
God is my Father. My sweet Abba. My daddy. He is the one who takes care of me, who loves me perfectly and will never leave my side.
"For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out 'Abba Father'." (Romans 8:15)
When we come to Christ Jesus, he breaks off every chain of fear and rejection, and he replaces it with a Spirit of acceptance and security.
No matter what it may be that is festering inside you, surrender. Surrender it to the Lord. "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches and glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)
We never truly lose anything. Whatever hole we think we'll have by surrendering, Jesus will fill it up.
Comments (1)
Wow, this is very deep. What a great question to ask "Lord, REVEAL to me what I have left to surrender?" I have honestly never prayed that prayer, and undoubtedly there is a mountain of things I need to surrender. I hate to hear that you're hurting this way, but I know you're dealing with it in the right way, God's way. It's a very brave and difficult thing to do.